You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
