do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
