Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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