Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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