it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
