After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
