What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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