apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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