I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
