first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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