I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
