Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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