i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
