It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
