My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
