does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
