how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
