I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
