is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
