now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
