hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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