Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
