Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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