I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
