Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
