It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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