I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
