I hope mine doesn't look like that
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
