I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
