woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
