NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
