Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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