Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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