their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
