hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
