i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
