Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
