he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
