She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
