she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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