I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
