The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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