So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Your cock deserves a montage
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
