I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
