Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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