oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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