Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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