Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We got so high we made milksteak
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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