I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Floor bacon is actually really good
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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