just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So vagazzling was a success
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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